I’ve made a discovery: Life, and its meaning, is something which has perplexed humanity for centuries - and I’ve figured it out: Life...is simply questions and answers. I’ve come to this conclusion after laughing uproariously at a video on youtube while eating breakfast*; proof that philosophical conversation can be born of both the ridiculous and the mundane. I’ve posted the video below, but please bear with me as I elaborate on my thought.
My wife and I got married about a year and half ago. Like most couples, we went through the intense scrutiny of our family and friends during the entire dating/engagement/marriage process. In fact, we continue to be under said scrutiny – and as a man in a relationship, I feel I’ve been, and continue to be, under the most.
When you’re dating, everyone asks when you’ll get married, which is more a question of when you’ll smarten up and buy a ring for the poor girl. My simple, on me-word answer was always: “someday”. That’s funny to your girlfriend once or twice before it becomes a nagging form of resentment, so use it sparingly if you’re serious. Once engaged, the question is when you’ll actually be getting married. That question, at least, is easily answered with the date – which you’ve set after a quick conversation with your fiancé where you try to prolong it a little more for “preparations”, and she decides for you. Then, you’re married and it’s automatically: “When are you gonna have kids?” Eventually your wife will join in on this question and your life will never be the same.
I have reached this line of questioning. I continually revert to my engagement answer of “someday” which is proving more and more difficult to sell. It’s not that I don’t want to be a dad; because I do. Why try so hard to have people like me when I can just make my own people, who will love me unconditionally? – that’s my thought process.
However, I also realize that child-rearing will pose its obstacles and this forces me to ask myself even further questions: Will I be a disciplinarian; will I be a softie; will I actually have to change diapers; what if I screw up; what if my kid hates me; why are they still teaching Math in school; why wasn’t I better at math; why is my kid asking ME for help with math. These questions plague me, and yet I also see no end in sight for the questions of others.
In fact, I can already see the next line of queries: When are you going to have a baby? becomes when are you going to have another, followed by the inevitable: what about a third? This is followed, eventually, by questions from the children: Dad, can so-and-so come over; Dad, can I have some money; Dad, can I have the car; Dad, why are you wearing that in public?
Life, is about questions. We may not have all of the answers, but we’ll figure it out as we go along. Am I ready to be a dad? Who knows...but after watching this video, I’m thinking I need to be a dad soon, because I totally want to do this to them:
Yeah, I’m gonna be an awesome dad...
-Crash-
*Froot Loops....what, where you expecting me to be eating Life? Pfft...not childish enough for me.
