The Boy Who Cried Foul...

So, I struck out in slow pitch… twice… in my first game.

It was this utter humiliation that drove me to avoid playing on my new team for 5 weeks. (Not true…but it's much sadder this way) Either way, this past Sunday I made my return to The Slammers <- my Sunday's only beer-league-type slow pitch team. The heat was on. (No really; it was in the 30's…and humid.)

Seeing as how, for various reasons including a couple rain postponements and my own wedding, I hadn't played with the team since that fateful first outing, I'm dead-last in the batting order. The pressure to actually get on base was outstanding, and I had lots of time to agonize over my first at-bat.

The first pitch is thrown. I count: one...two... swing on three.

Whiff!

It was a swing and a miss, followed by laughter from our dugout; followed by cursing under my breath.

The 2nd Pitch

Contact is made (though barely). The ball grounds to the short-stop who decided to throw to third for the out rather than catch me at first. I was on base…fielder's choice, yes, but I was on base. Mission Accomplished. My stats still sucked, but beefing those up from the comedic Zero was never the goal of the day…a pipe dream, perhaps, but never a goal.

My next at bat was similar to the first, except this time the fielder elected to throw to first for the out. (I won't be focusing on my defensive play; The day wasn't about that. Although I did get an assist, we don't keep track of defensive stats, so…why try so hard?)

For my final at-bat of the game I stepped to the plate, amidst tremendous scrutiny and jeering from my teammates (If you know me at all, you know I dish it out as well as the best of them). The pitch is thrown.

Contact is made. I drive it deep into left field. So deep, in fact, that it sails over the netting designed to keep balls in the park. That's right, reader; I nailed one out of the park. My team was in shock from awe. I felt fantastic; it was the best contact a bat I'd swung had ever made with a softball.

It was foul.

So, while my story loses its impressiveness at this point, I have a reason to look forward to next weekend and a new goal to work toward: making it to second base.

-Crash-